The most dangerous risk of all- the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
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The day I decided to make 2020 my gap year: it was a Saturday and I was between study sessions for my prelim exams. I went to my mom beacause I wanted to express how tired, stressed and frustrated I was.
Before that day I talked alot to my parents about these feelings. The sentence I repeated over and over was ,”I dont want to graduate high school, go to university, get a job, get married and have children and then when I’m 70 realize that I didnt do anything extraordinary with my life”. How could anyone think this when they’re given this amazing gift to live?
I’m usually the positive person in any group. The one that encourages others to look past the problem and see the potential. My positive side is also mixed with my type A personality. While I we were busy with prelims I obviously studied hard. When I got home or woke up I basically sat in my room and studied until the sun went down (sometimes I watched the occasional tv show when I had a break). And often with my study breaks I felt guilty throughout the whole resting time because “I wasn’t busy studying”.
No one was pushing me to do this, I am fortunate to have parents that give us freedom to decide almost everything for ourselves. So if I don’t want to study for a test its my choice, if i want to have a distinction its also my choice.
So back to the day i decided to take a gap year. I went to my mom and told her jokingly that I would love to take a gap year. And that I don’t know how I will be able to go back to studying again after a short matric vacation. Even though I was that person a couple of months previous to this that couldn’t understand why anyone would waste their time on taking a gap year. She said something along the lines of ,” so doen dit dan”.
Its safe to say that I burned myself out. I felt like all you have to do your whole life is work. High school, university then your job. I realize now how this was out of the ordinary for me to think like this, I also realize how worn out I was.
In that moment (as cliche as it sounds) it felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulders. So we began thinking of all our family members around the world that I could go visit. Once we had a list we bagan contacting them.
My dad loved the idea and I’m truly blessed that he can make these visits possible for me. He told me that I should make the most of this year. Because later in my life a year off isn’t going to be this easy. He encouraged me to talk to everyone I met and to try to learn something from each person.
I’m excited for this journey. My first stop is Australia. Because I think I want to become a chartered accountant one day (but I still have a little doubt) I’m going to work as an intern at an accounting company. By doing this I’ll be able to see if this is truly the career I want to have.
I want to end my first blog by saying that this is my way to document my journey for myself and for anyone that wants to follow along. I am so grateful for this opportunity and still can’t believe this is happening. I’m flying to Sydney at the beginning of February 2020.
The Jessica journal 